Talking about Depression: Otherness

Talking about Otherness is an odd topic when it comes to depression. At least for people that don’t really suffer from chronic form of depression. However, this is something that I think a lot of people can relate to that suffer on a regular basis. Otherness in this context means that there are time where you feel like you’re watching someone go through the motions of your life for you. Where you look at things you’ve written in the past and don’t even recognize who that person was. That when you read that, you can’t even imagine that person could possibly have the depression that you have. That person is capable and competent. That they certainly couldn’t be the same person as you.

There are times where you feel like you’re watching someone put on your face and getting in front of a crowd of people doing something with such conviction and confidence that you’re floored. That person is supposed to be you, but you don’t feel like it. This has certainly happened to me. I look back at my blog posts from years ago or even within the same year and I hardly remember writing them. I’m impressed that I was able to put together that coherent of an argument. That I had that sort of passion for a topic, even if it was only while I was writing.

When I was a regular instructor for Lean Six Sigma in my various roles in my career I’ve often felt as someone riding and watching myself give those presentations. Where I would be able, without much or any preparation, to give a full week of training courses (granted there were some slide decks where this showed more than others). I would be asked questions and I’d feel like I was watching someone else answer. That I was just along for the ride while this other “Ryan” was giving the presentation. This person didn’t feel like me.

At the end of the day, I’d be completely exhausted and so worn out. In a lot of ways I was also energized, because I had a community. I was with a group of like minded people. I wasn’t alone, which felt great. But, I also often felt like a fraud and was depressed because I felt like I was selling something that my bosses didn’t really support. That enough though we offered to our students a great remedy for what was ailing these organizations, the leadership didn’t support it. This caused a great deal of internal turmoil because the values of the organization didn’t fully align with what I was teaching.

Recognizing this otherness is important to do though. We need to be able to sit and look at this otherness and try to identify the source of it. In the case of teaching Lean, the root of the otherness was a misalignment of values. This exasperated my existing depression, I had already felt alone. I then struggled to find new meaningful work, when I didn’t trust other companies to have a value that really aligned with what I wanted to teach.

It’s also important to recognize the otherness because we don’t like it in ourselves. This means we’re less tolerant of otherness in other people, because it reminds us of our own otherness. However, sitting with our otherness can allow us to see why we’re feeling that way. This otherness, hiding from ourselves, putting a mask on, or burying our true feelings, is a coping mechanism and is completely natural. Everyone does it. So, meditating after you feel like an Other will allow you, as you scan down your body, to experience a wholeness. It’ll make you aware of the anxiety or fear you’d been hiding from yourself. It removes the otherness and centers you back in your body. It makes you feel again.

I strongly recommend meditation when you feel like this. Your thoughts will drift, you’ll feel lighter, eventually, but you’ll feel. Which is important for your and my recovery.

Economics is failing

Yes, that’s right, traditional economics is failing, but then we knew that. We hear talk that we’re out of the recession, but for a lot of people that doesn’t seem to be true. Many businesses are out of the recession and the “market” seems to think we’re out of the recession. However, what does it mean when the market is out of the recession? A lot of the market runs on high frequency trading, so the market can make money without a lot of people participating. Based on traditional economics theory, these markets should behave in a specific manner and they aren’t.

Slate calls this the difference between salt water and freshwater economics. Where the freshwater economics is based upon a lot of the traditional neoclassical theories, while the salt water economics is what the market traders are using. They’re using physics or other sort of network models that aren’t included in traditional economics theories.

Many of them have begun to use various forms of evolutionary economics, because it works. However, there’s a disconnect between the market and many of the leading theorists in Academia. Why? because those economists have made a career out of developing these theories. I believe that economics is at the beginning of a paradigm shift and it’s going to be painful. A lot of things are going to be changing because of this paradigm shift.

We’re staring at the end of jobs within the next 40 years, not all jobs, but a huge amount of the works force is going to be automated. Google’s working on industrial robotics with Foxconn, multiple companies are working on driverless cars, a few companies have developed drag and drop software so you don’t need to know how to code to develop software which will automate work because you build in your process rather than building your process around the system. This is radically going to change work. In the Race Against the Machine book it’s clear we’re going to be seeing changes in how our society works.

We’re going to be entering a time period where traditional economics doesn’t work and neither does capitalism. A blog post I read the other day has an interesting discussion of how we can move beyond capitalism (based on Star Trek). By the way, when I’m saying capitalism isn’t working, what I mean is that it’s not going to work to fundamentally keep the majority of the people working or provide any realistic relief to non-working people. It will be working quite well for a subset of the population that figure out how to survive or thrive in that economy. The question at that point becomes not what we think our economy is or should be, but what we value as a society.

I’ve talked about this in other posts in the past, however, I think that when we are looking at the “market place of applicable ideas” and we see that the people that should be influenced the most by economic theory AREN’T using it, but our government is, we have a serious problem. People at banks making huge sums of money on trading should be influenced by economic theory because they deal with vast sums of money and are actively driving a huge portion of our economic activity (valuable or not is another question). If they don’t see value in using those theories, then our leaders that are still applying them need to seriously rethink what theories they are applying to “manage” our economy.

When the prevailing theory in a discipline is failing, for the discipline to survive it must move beyond it. Typically the new theories that save it come from outsiders and indeed in economics it has – from two sources, Biology and Physics. Hopefully our leaders and teachers can see it before our current economic theories destroy us all.